family connections, part 1

this trip to Crete was extra special because of the two weekend days i spent with my Cretan family. back in 2007 Sophie helped me meet some of my relatives in the village of Fournes---son and grandchildren of Aristedes Pasarivaki, who was the brother of my great grandmother Anna (she's in the photo, with her husband). on this trip i was hoping to use my weekends to reconnect with them and meet more family, and this turned out to be a piece of cake thanks to my second cousin, once removed, Elvira, who found me on facebook a few months back. on the morning of Saturday, Crete day two, i called Elvira to make arrangements. (throughout the trip i was grateful for Elvira's voice and her English skills; every time i called her on the trip i was so happy to hear her voice. she blocks on a word now and then, but her English is lovely, with a melodic quality.) she sweetly offered to drive from Fournes to pick me up and take me to Chania, where we could meet her uncle and cousin.



it was wonderful being back in Chania, where i had spent several days on my last trip. Elvira and i walked around the inner harbor some, ordered frappes at a cafe, and talked about our lives. after a little while we were joined by Leonidas (Elvira's uncle, my first cousin twice removed) and his daughter Markela, both of whom i'd met on my last visit. Leonidas picked out a restaurant and ordered a feast. Leonidas speaks only a dozen words of English, Markela a few more than that, so Elvira acted as translator. even with the help it was difficult turning down the food Leonidas kept foisting onto my plate and the glasses of wine and raki. i did enjoy the long stretches of Greek conversation when i could try to pick out words and then ask Elvira what they were talking about. despite not being able to communicate directly, Leonidas bravely invited me that evening to a Cretan wedding in a nearby village, sans translator. i accepted; when else would i have a chance like this?

Elvira drove me back to the hotel where i got ready quickly and waited for Leonidas to arrive. he was about 20 minutes late and was flustered when he arrived, speaking quickly in Greek and pointing at his watch. i said "signomi?" ("sorry?" in Greek), feeling bad that picking me up would make him late to the wedding. he waved me off, and provided more Greek explanation. i figure that meant it wasn't my fault. in the car we worked out how to communicate over the temperature in the car, and Leonidas tried to teach me some other vocabulary, including "i don't understand", which has served me well. mostly it was gesturing, confusion, and frustration for both of us, but at one point i think i explained that my mom teaches high school Geometry. it may have been in the car when Leonidas began saying to me in English "speak Greek!" as though he could will it to happen.


we arrived at the church 30 minutes late and there was a big, boisterous crowd out front. i asked Leonidas "fini?" (not Greek, but it worked) and he laughed and said "no". the church was still packed, and the people were outside because there wasn't room in the church for most of the guests. we stood and watched the end of the ceremony and then moved with the throng to greet the new couple in the center of the church. Leonidas coached me to say "naziseta" to the newlyweds as we were shoved forward and sideways by the crowd.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding is funny because it's true, even the Greeks i know love it. i've been to a few big Greek family weddings in the U.S., but this took it to a new level. there must have been 800 or 900 guests, and the food kept coming for hours, most of it piles of meat. the bride and groom came out to dance on a big stage, where a man with a large video camera practically danced on stage with them, sending the video directly to the two big screens on either side of the floor for easier viewing from far-away seats. i was already amazed by the scene, and then the fireworks went off.

i wondered what the other guests at the wedding thought of the unlikely pair we made, separated by twenty years and a language barrier. Leonidas explained to whoever seemed interested that i was distant family from America, and i just smiled and shook hands without speaking. luckily i wasn't completely isolated in my English bubble; two younger guests that speak English sat across from us at dinner. while they didn't do too much translation (and i would have felt guilty enlisting them), we did chat a bit, and it was nice not to feel mute and dumb through the event. i had difficulty again fending off Leonidas's offers of food and drink; Greek hospitality can be overwhelming, but it's even tougher when you can't even explain why you're saying no. i think i ate my share---a couple plates of pilafi, some lamb and chicken, potatoes, salad, wine, and raki. he and other guests also tried to talk me into dancing on the stage, but the dance looked difficult and unfamiliar, so i just watched from my chair, with a smile on my face.

the party was going strong at midnight and set to roll for another couple hours, but i was cooked. after waiting to buy a photo taken of Leonidas and me earlier in the evening and many goodbyes, we left the reception, and Leonidas drove me back to my hotel where i crashed into my bed.

Elvira, i know that i told you already how special it was to visit, and how grateful i am for all your help, but thank you again. and if you translate this for Leonidas, please give him another big thank you from me for a very special evening out in Crete.